I am here for connection

*TOPIC: CHRISTIAN HOME: PILLARS THAT SUSTAIN MARRIAGES*(Series 4)

*Scripture Reading:* 1 Peter 2:17

Three days ago, I started sharing with you what makes our marriages work and we are considering some pillars that makes it stand and especially in fulfilling God's purpose on earth. Let's continue from where we stopped yesterday:

*4) Respect:* Respect is the way a person treats something he or she values. If something is highly valued, a person will treat it with honor and dignity. One does not mistreat it or discard it. A valid question to ask is, *“How much do I value my spouse?”*

Without respect, marriage partners feel devalued. That devaluation erodes this pillar and causes coldness toward one another. 1 Peter 2:17 says, *“Show proper respect to everyone.”*

What must be understood, however, is that men and women feel respected in different ways. *A man typically feels valuable when he is able to figure something out and accomplish a goal or objective. A woman feels valued when she has someone who will listen to her and to whom she can talk and be understood.*

Now, if it is true that one respects what one values, then it can be expected that a husband and wife, will show respect to each other. The problem is that the way a man shows respect for someone he values is to help fix problems and provide answers. The way a woman shows respect to someone she values is to talk to him or her.

*The goal is to first of all choose to value one’s spouse, then to learn how to show him or her respect in a way he or she will understand and appreciate.*

A husband who values his wife who comes to him with a problem should rethink his first inclination is to come up with a solution. *He should realize that she may not be looking for a solution. She is respecting him by talking to him and expressing what she is feeling. Coming up with a solution may cause her to become frustrated or angry because she just wants to make a connection, not fix her problem.* When that happens, the husband may become frustrated or angry because he thinks she thinks his solution isn’t good enough for her. To be continue tomorrow morning by God's Grace. Good morning and do have a great day, peace.

*Prayer point:* Holy Spirit, help me to begin to treat my spouse just the way I treat myself and to value him/her just as I did to myself in Jesus Christ name. Amen!

T.S. AFOLAYAN